Today started out with great, ambitious intentions. I had gotten a decent night's sleep last night, so my pain level was really low this morning. I got up, got dressed, and got both of my girls ready to go run a bunch of errands. Contrary to what some may think, I really like running errands. I like getting out of the house, and, stereotypically, I like shopping.
Lucky for me, I have the cutest shopping buddy EVER. Addison, my 3-year old. She adores getting out and going shopping, just like I do. She can distinguish most stores from a mile away, simply by the route in which we're driving. She loves the grocery store, and riding in the "blue cars". She loves going to Target, and especially WalMart. I love going shopping with her....almost as much as I love going by myself.
So we set out this morning, with the promise to Addison that we would run a couple errands, then hit up WalMart and the grocery store. Addison was elated! And after every "errand" we ran, she would ask, "Mommy, are we going shopping NOW??" We made it to the bank, dropped something off to my sister-in-law, paid and bill, and took my husband lunch. I had hardly even gotten out of the car, but by that point, I was utterly exhausted! All I could think about was getting home, putting my kids down for naps, and taking one myself. I wanted nothing more than to kick off my shoes and take my AFO off.
But how do I explain that to my eager 3-year old? How do I explain that suddenly the thought of hauling 2 children through the grocery store makes me cringe? How do I explain the intense pain that would likely follow, and how long it would take to recover from that? How do I explain to her that I'm already exhausted, and I'm not entirely sure why? And the worst....how do I come to grips with the possibility that my sweet, eager daughter may one day be in the same position I'm in....not so willing and eager anymore?
In the end, I don't explain those things. I simply reason with her that it's nap time, and end with a promise that when I do get to the grocery store, she can go with me. Then come the promises of riding in the "blue car" at the store and getting a lollipop from the checker if she's good.
Hopefully we'll make it to the store tomorrow.