Monday, September 12, 2011


First off, I have to give a gigantic THANK YOU to my husband, my best friend, and my sister for their wonderful posts!  They are all huge blessings in my life, and give me a lot more credit than I probably deserve.

So, I've been having a hard time deciding what to blog about today.  On my family blog, I have a tendency to avoid blogging when things aren't going so great or we're having a hard time with one thing or another.  I like to keep things light and happy.  And somehow, that same feeling has trickled over onto this blog.  I know I'm supposed to write about the ups AND the downs of everyday life with CMT, but I don't enjoy writing about the downs.  I don't like dwelling on them much, and I don't want this to be turned into a pity party or anything.

But the past few days have been a major down, and this "downer" seems to consume so much of my life, that there's not much else that's CMT-related to blog about right now.  So, unfortunately, you get to hear about the downside today.

I've never been able to walk or stand for long periods of time, and I've mentioned before about the burning, excruciating pain that I experience when I do stand or walk for too long.  Usually that pain goes away with some painkillers and a good night's sleep.  Well, not this time.  For the past week and a half or so, my left foot has been in a constant state of pain every time I stand up or take a step.  I can usually find some relief when I take my AFO off, but not this time.  And unfortunately, that numb feeling that usually comes after a while and offers a bit of relief is nowhere in sight.

I've tried to take it easy the past few days, but to be honest, that's not really easy to do with 3 kids.  I still have things to do at home, errands to run, and just the day-to-day things to do.  I find myself lying in bed each morning dreading having to get up and deal with the pain all day.  And then I find myself in bed every night, hating that I didn't get everything done that I needed or wanted to because I was in so much pain.  It feels like the pain is consuming my days, and I can't stand that.

I finally made a call to my podiatrist today, but he can't get me in for two more weeks.  That two weeks seems like an eternity right now, but I know that it will come faster than I think.  It's hard not to get depressed and down about it all right now, but I'm amazingly thankful for family and friends who continually build my spirits up.  With their help, I'm pretty sure I can make it through.


Lenka said...

Sending good thoughts! I appreciate your honesty. In a way, it's easier to glaze over the rough stuff and say, I'm fine, than share the challenges. I'm having the same struggle at my blog, wanting to end each day sunny and light when I feel anything but sunny or light :)

So sorry about the pain! Let yourself have some extra meds for a break (if they help). Hopefully it's one of those mystery things that fades for no reason :). We can hope.

Your words were really true about dreading getting up and then being frustrated at night. Not fun!

Sending you lots of sunshine! And light! :)

ps- here was my post about the daily pain - in case it helps a little :)

Casee said...

I am so sorry, there is nothing worse than being in pain or generally not feeling well. I was going to suggest making a doctor's appointment, but it sounds like your on top of it. I am sorry that you have to wait so long to get in, two weeks can be an eternity. I think you should just take it easy (well, as easy you can) and don't beat yourself up for the things that don't get done. You will make up for when you feel better. I have the same feelings of guilt when I don't feel well, (because I am pregnant) like the house is a mess or dinner isn't ready for the fourth night in a row or something like that, but you just have to realize you can only do so much. Take care of yourself, and feel free to vent here or you can call me anytime and vent, sometimes a good rant will do wonders!